Conversation with my younger self

It was my birthday this week and it is always a time of reflection for me.

It is important for me to take stock of the things that have been good, as well as those that haven’t, and the lessons I have learnt over the last year. Among other things, I am grateful for my journey through life, mostly for the mistakes I’ve made, the lessons I’ve learnt along the way, and where I am now.

While reflecting, I remembered about a year ago, I was approached by a dear friend to do a voice note on “What I would say to my younger self” for her podcast. I was really excited to do this because reflecting on this sort of topic I find is really important because what you unearth about yourself can be both rewarding and insightful.

Taking time to reflect on my life (Image Credit: Twenty20)

I wanted this to be honest and from the heart. I genuinely felt like I was having a heart-to-heart conversation with my younger self (say in my 20s) prior to marriage and children. Below are the key points I shared with her.


One of the biggest life lessons for me is the importance of authenticity i.e., staying true to yourself no matter the pressures of life.

However, to be successful at this, you must progressively discover who you are and what your values are in order to activate a purpose-driven life. Be guided by this and don’t let the opinion of others shape who you become. People will have opinions, that’s natural human interaction, but when you aren’t authentic to yourself, you will slowly become the product of other people’s opinion of you.

In some cases, when pushed, you will lack the resilience to bounce back because you didn’t have the blueprint of your own life. Do not give anyone the power to mould you into what they think is best for you, find your space in this world, show up, own it, and believe that you are deserving to be there. Make sure you stand for something, don’t get lost in the crowd.


Don’t let anyone or anything make you feel worthless. Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and no mistake is worth hating yourself for. Mistakes are part of the learning process in life. Reflect on them, learn from them, and grow from the experience.

Self Worth: Be kind to your self, you are worth more than you think. (Image: Mindful)

Do not be afraid to acknowledge your fears. Validate your feelings and be kind to yourself. You are enough, beautiful and God took his time to make you. As this quote states “You are not your mistake, they are the things you did, not who you are.” Therefore, please don’t be hard on yourself, your mistakes should not define you, they should refine you.

Block out the noise:

The noise I am referring to is the type that distracts you from being purposeful. Don’t get drowned in the noise. Noise can come in the form of relationships, people you associate with, or just what society defines as good and acceptable.

Life can get very noisy but learn to breathe and step away from it all because the truth is, it can get too much, and drowning can easily be the best way of survival. Be intentional each day about how to block out the noise because that is how you truly find yourself and your space in this world.

Recognise what season you are in your life:

You see, life is a learning process, do not waste time dwelling on the things you cannot change. Every season requires preparation for what is (present) and what’s to come (future). Most importantly, lessons learnt from what was (past) and applying it to the present and future. Seize the opportunities that life presents but more importantly, be prepared.

In some seasons, all that’s required is hibernation to give you strength and agility for the “evening spoils”. Whatever season you find yourself, be present and intentional about what you want out of it. Don’t let any season pass you by, recognise what you want out of it.

“You are not your mistake, they are the things you did, not who you are.”

The reality is that my life hasn’t always reflected these values, especially in my young adult life, but God has given me life, and each day I embrace a new opportunity to discover my purpose. You are never too young to do the same.

If you had the opportunity to go back in time to speak to your younger self, what would you say? If you enjoyed reading this, then please like, share, and comment below. Would love to read and learn from your experiences.


10 thoughts on “Conversation with my younger self”

  1. A very insightful one, thank you very much.
    If I have the opportunity to speak to my younger self, I will give just two warnings.
    1) Never to let an opportunity slip; I lost an opportunity that would have changed my life forever. There are some opportunities that once lost, it takes a powerful divine Grace to restore.

    2) Bros, just do away with women so that you can focus. That’s all. Thank you for the opportunity.

  2. Beautifully written. I would say to my younger self hold on it’s going to be an interesting ride. Embrace the highs and lows it’s all part of the journey.

  3. Great job Pam, very well written piece! Young laolu, listen carefully!

    Pursue your passion though unpopular, how on earth did I end up in science class? I remember, Dad asked me to! I would have done better in the Arts.

    Celebrate your individuality, don’t try to apologise or explain who you are. Enjoy being you, it’s part of the design.

    Don’t settle for less, if you believe it you can become it, they don’t have two heads!

    Don’t let your background put your back on the ground, wear confidence like a cologne.

    You’ll be fine laslas

  4. Nwachukwu Cynthia

    At this point when my life needed some encouragement and push..these are the kind of words I needed to hear… You have indeed touched a young soul…
    High five!… This post is valuable!

  5. Macauley Coker Asin

    Great piece Pam and quite reflective with lessons that would just be apt to correct the present and project meaningful into the future. May God continue to bless you richly with knowledge, understanding and the wisdom to continually come up with wonderful write ups that would help greatly in the overall development of humanity.

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