Think of how you feel when you get compliments. “You are beautiful; You light up a room with that smile; you are so confident; You are kind; And the best one, “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (God’s affirmation to us).
These are words of affirmation that improves a person’s outlook of themselves when spoken repeatedly because you believe it and it becomes a part of you. Positive affirmation is therefore a necessary requirement for children to make them feel loved, have a sense of identity, and feel confident in that identity.
As a parent, this is something I have always tried to practice because as much as I would love to keep my children cocooned from the harshness of society, unfortunately, it doesn’t quite work out that way. From birth, I repeat words of affirmation to them and once they learn to speak, I get them to repeat it over and over again.
Recently, I have been reflecting on the importance of mental wellness and well-being, not just for us as adults, but for our children. Life isn’t always going to be kind, and there will be testing situations that will be challenging, but self-identity (knowing who you are) is always a starting point to overcome these issues when they surface. Teaching it to children is not just vital for their development and confidence, it is a core requirement for them in navigating through their milestones and life journeys.
I remember a few years ago, we went on a day trip to the safari with a group of friends and their children. It was a lovely day and we were all happy having a really good time. My daughter and one of the other children went off to play in one of the play areas. We stood at a distance while they played but we had sight of them to make sure they were okay.
“Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.”
~ Brooke Hampton
Not long after, they both ran up to us and said a girl in the play area had been mean to them. We asked what happened, and apparently, the other child had asked them why they were so ugly.
My daughter responded, “Mummy, I told her she needed glasses. We told her we were beautiful and she could say whatever she liked”.
I would never forget the feeling I had that day. I was so proud of the girls because they had resolved the issue before even coming to us.
Naturally, as parents, we wanted to go and have words with the little girl who had been mean, but there was no need, the girls had handled themselves well and we had done the most important work by teaching them to hold their own in whatever space they found themselves in.
This incident taught me a few lessons.
🔥 The words you speak into the life of your children is what will manifest. When they are confronted with situations such as this, they will hear your voice confirming what they know about themselves. If they only hear negative comments about themselves, they will actually begin to display more and more of those negative traits. Speaking positive words of affirmation is like speaking life into your child.
🔥 Children derive so much of their own identity from us. They mirror so much of what they see and hear us do. They are watching and listening and will eventually start to display these in their behaviour and outlook of life. The best thing you can do for them is their biggest cheerleader so even when you’re not there, the words are planted in their hearts. A child who is confident in who they are will not be afraid to take on challenges.
I am however not simplifying this at all because I know that we (parents) are competing against a world of social media and the pressures that brings for children and young people. It’s a world that makes them feel inadequate when they don’t “measure up” to the images they see online. This is where the power of speaking positive affirmation repeatedly comes into action. It’s not easy, and there will be times that we will say things that we don’t mean, but never forget to apologize and pour in those positive words back into your child.
“Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become.” ~ Brooke Hampton
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Not a parent yet, but words of affirmation is something that definitely resonates with me and something that I will definitely by God’s grace speak to and over my children.
That was such a great example of the girls handling that situation!
Ah! My sister, speak louder love. Many of us at the back cannot hear you. Thanks for this piece, it was for me and my plenty children. ❤️
The real foundation and the building blocks of the society and hence, the world is the family and therefore critical, true and friendly management of the children in their growth process, will obviously account for what the families become which will impact positively or negatively on the larger society.
Sincerely a write up like this, is so beautiful, apt and imperative for the overall development of the nucleus family. Children’s upbringing can be so tasking and just as it is equally wonderful and interesting, depending on where the pendulum swings. Children are indeed precious gold and parents at every level should so handle and treat them to become deeply confident and attain great heights in life.
Seriously, your write up captures the whole essence of the above and God bless you richly.
Lovely parents this piece has passed the ball to us and we should be ready to target the goal post and score with huge applaud.
Congratulations Pam.